Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
This is another day that falls under the “should have stayed in bed today” category.
The lead off incident of the morning was me turning on my radio and placing it on the top of the sliding door… well, obviously, the width of the top of the door was more than it was today, because my radio went a’tumblin’ down… into the shower. All I could do was watch it fall in slow motion through the frosted glass of the shower. Now my radio still works but it makes violent clicking noises every other 2 minutes at 2-second intervals, making it impossible to follow a conversation.
“Good *click*orning, I’m Steve *click*-keep and this is NP*click*things considered.”
After my shower, with partial radio reception, I did my usual routine: get dressed, then sit on the bed for five minutes in disbelief that I am awake. After that, I walk back into the bathroom to put on my manly cologne. A couple of quick squirts and I was on my way–or so I thought until I realized that I did not good-smell-erize my shirt, bur rather I sprayed my cologne in the direction my mouth. And some people might tell you that a $40 bottle of cologne should taste as good as it smells, and I might even subscribe to that philosophy, however my cologne was not of that persuasion.
Then mix in a day where almost every kid thinks that everything they say is the funniest thing that anyone has heard, hence the reason of them repeating it ad nauseum. By the end of the day I was ready to go home.
At home, circa fifteen minutes ago, I am sitting and relaxing, trying to postpone the unbelievable amount of work I have to do, I get a call. In my naive, little simian brain, I think, “Oh. Jess got out of class early.” That is, until I answer the phone:
Me: Hey.
Random Scary Guy Voice: Is this Chris?”
Me: Uh… yeah. –at this point I realize it isn’t Jess.
Random Scary Guy Voice: *click*
Right about now I am waiting for a hit man or a SWAT team to come launching through my door/windows. I read the caller ID, and call the number back. The mysterious phone call came from a collection agency. As it turns outs, I am in a lot of debt and apparently a lot of trouble.
…well, not me per se, but someone with my exact same name but different social security number–all this according to the eerily kind woman on the other end of the phone. I’m not sure that I spoke more than three intelligible words, because I was in the midst of simultaneously going through the checklist of all my bills (paid thankfully) and seeing my future house, car, and credit rating go “poof”.
So here I am, waiting for the next ‘event’ to take place–it could be my apartment burning down, car stolen, or aneurysm… either way, if am still able to have rational thought, I won’t be surprised.
Tags: cologne, phone call, radio, swat team
